Love is the Slowest Form of Suicide
by LollipopLawliet
Summary: Misa realizes that Light is just using her, but she still wants to prove to him how much she loves him. -LightMisa.-


**HEY everybody!! **

**This is my FIRST Death Note Fanfic so please don't hate! …**

**Appreciate! **

**I just love Light and Misa together and this ONEshot was how I wanted Light to be. **

**This takes place when they are both 18 like in the beginning of the anime so let's just pretend they didn't grow up and die! This is after L's death.**

**WARNING: Light is a bit OOC and the characters are really out of character in my story so just READ & REVIEW! Hope you like it! This fic was requested by ****LittleGreenTeaCup! **

**_I don't own Death Note. But If I did, Light and Misa wouldn't have died before telling each other how they REALLY felt. (We ALL know that Light loved Misa back!_ Well, I do…)**

**_LIGHT AND MISA FOREVER_**

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_**"Love is the Slowest Form of Suicide"**_

Misa lay in bed, thinking about her so-called "relationship" with Light.

"Is Light-kun thinking about Misa right now?" Misa sighed.

She knew that Light didn't really love her. She knew all along that he was just using her for his "precious dream" about becoming the _God _of the World. She tried to forget about him everyday but her childish self and her infatuation (now madly-in-love) with him wouldn't allow her to.

"Misa likes Light-kun but Misa never gets any attention from Light-kun. Misa thinks it's time Misa told Light-kun how she felt… NO! Misa won't tell Light-kun because Misa doesn't like Light-kun anymore. Light-kun doesn't like Misa either…. He never will." Misa rambled to herself as she stared gloomily at the ceiling of the Hotel.

"Misa knows now! Misa will show Light-kun how much Misa loves him!" She exclaimed happily (like her usual self) as she got up from her bed, gingerly picked up her Death Note and skipped out of the door. **(A/N**: **WARNING**: **Misa is not really like herself in this fic!)**

_(At Light's House)_

"Onii-chan! Time for dinner!" Sayu called as she knocked on Light's bedroom door.

"I'm studying so I'll just eat dinner later Sayu." Light explained, annoyed at the fact that he was momentarily distracted from his "business".

" Light," Ryuk said hoarsely, trying to get the attention of the boy whose back was facing towards him but once again he was ignored. "Oi, Light! Which criminals are you destroying now?"

"Some criminals that killed their own family and friends. And I'm just letting them have heart attacks because that is what "Kira" is known for." Light bluntly stated as he continued with his work.

"HN? Oh… humans are… funny. Hehehe." Ryuk trailed off as he bit into his bright red apple. "Mmm. Juicy." **(A/N: Sorry! I just had to put that somewhere. Whenever I hear that, it always makes me laugh!)**

"Hiragana Awusane. 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1… hehehe." Light muttered evilly as he counted down towards his written victim's death.

_(A Little While Later…)_

"Light! Light! Misa-chan's here!" Light's mother yelled from downstairs.

"Misa? What is she doing here?" Light grunted as he walked downstairs to find his mother and a rain soaked Misa standing in the hallway.

"Onii-chan! Onii-chan! Misa-chan's here! Misa-chan's here!" Sayu shouted excitedly as she ran from the kitchen. "Misa-chan! Misa-chan! Are you here to see me?" Sayu asked curiously. (Even though she knew what the answer was going to be.)

"No. Sorry Sayu-chan. Misa's here to talk with Light-kun. Maybe later ok?" Misa reassured a now pouting Sayu.

"Sorry Light-kun, but Misa wishes to talk to you upstairs in your room," Misa directed her attention to Light who was already half way up the staircase. She followed silently as usual.

When they reached Light's room, he locked the door (**A/N: of course!) **because he thought Misa was here to discuss about something related to his Death Note plans.

"Umm… Light-kun, Misa wants to talk to you about something." Misa said as she stood by the doorway.

"You mentioned that earlier." Light said quite harshly, wanting her to continue speaking already!

_He actually paid attention to me! _Misa thought to herself as she smiled inside of her. "Misa wants to tell Light-kun, umm… Misa wants to tell Light-kun…." She muttered hesitatingly.

"Hn?" Ryuk watched her silently while enjoying his "juicy" apple.

"Misa… IloveyouLight-kun!" She blurted out quickly as if a huge weight was lifted off of her shoulders.

"So?" Light uttered out, quite confused (and as dull as ever.)

"Misa loves Light-kun, I LOVE YOU Light-kun!" Misa shouted out kid-like, extremely angry at the response she got from her "love". **(A/N: Told you Misa isn't like herself! In the anime, she was quite used to his response!) **" Does Light-kun love Misa back?" She asked while pouting (As if she expected a good response.)

"No… never will." Light replied as he turned back, sat down at his desk and went back to writing in his "precious" Death Note.

"Why not?! I love you Light! I love you. I _loved_ you." Misa whispered as her hope of being loved back by Light faded away. "Misa doesn't deserve this! Misa lost Rem because Rem wanted Misa to be happy. Rem died so Light-kun would love Misa!" She screamed as her face was shot up from staring at the ground.

Light's face was filled with shock as he stared, wide-eyed, at the now glaring girl. _What did I do? Why is she mad? WhydoIloveher? Wait, what did I just think?_ Light thought as he mentally slapped himself.

"Misa likes Kira-san but Misa loves Light-kun. No. Misa _dislikes_ Kira-san and Misa _hates _Light-kun!" She sobbed while crouching down to sit on Light's bedroom floor.

Light decided to just sit and let his pride get the better of him. **(A/N: Hmph! Not even Misa's break down can destroy Light's pride!) **"Misa…" He whispered, trying to comfort her.

"Light never did anything for Misa. Light never cared for Misa. Light is NOT Misa's knight! Light hates Misa back!" Misa rambled as her tears (now flowing crazily) ran down her pale face. She sat there for a few minutes and the room fell silent. The only audible sound was the crunching from Ryuk and his apple in between Misa's sobs. "Misa doesn't want to be used by Kira-san anymore. Misa doesn't want to not be loved by her Light-kun." Suddenly the tone of her voice changed and her eyes shot red with fury. "Light-kun, I loved you but not anymore. Hehehe." She squealed in a high-pitched tone.

_Misa's gone crazy! _Light thought as he just stared, bewildered at the unexpected personality change.

"Light-kun why _don't_ you love Misa? Why _won't_ you love Misa? Why did you just _use _Misa? How come you care about being God more than having love?" Misa asked, her mind swirling within the darkness. " It's because Misa's annoying aren't I?! It's because Misa wasn't your love at first sight! It's because I never helped you!!" Misa wept but her voice still shot tones of anger and hatred. " It's because…."

"Misa, that's not true." Light interrupted. He was still trying to calm her down. He slowly stood up but as he did so, Misa shot up right and stood just as he did. "Misa's just bothering Light-kun! But Misa never got any respect from Light-kun! Light-kun was too cruel and harsh to realize Misa's love!!" She slowly walked towards him, cornering him between the wall and her approaching body. "Light-kun is a murderer! Light-kun wants to _kill_ Misa-Misa! Light-kun deserves to die! Light-kun will DIE!" Misa bawled as she rapidly snatched out her Death Note out of nowhere along with a pen. She wrote down a name, only one name, purposely on the last page in her Death Note. We all know what happens after a name is written in the Death Note. (1: the person dies of a heart attack 40 seconds later.) Even though Light, himself, knew this, he stood still as if he were frozen solid. He didn't even care to blink. _What did she just do? Did she write… _Only then did everything register into his mind: The pen still in the hand of the pig-tailed girl now crumpled in the corner of his bedroom. "Misa, you didn't write my… Misa?" He gasped as he rushed over to her as she was counting down.

"10, 9, 8…"

He stood in front of her and stared down at the now emotionally depressed girl still counting down.

" 7, 6, 5…"

He reached for her Death Note and thrust it out of her petite, shaking hands.

"4, 3, 2…"

He read the name aloud and pondered at it open-mouthed and adjusted his vision to the crinkled girl. " _Amane Misa_? " He whispered.

"1… AHHH!!"

"Misa! Misa! Why?! You wrote your own name? You… you…NOO!! MISA!!" He shouted as he was now holding her in his arms as the pain was wrenching her heart open, right out of her chest.

"_Light I love you…" _Amane Misa took in her last breath as her body fell limp in his arms.

" Misa… sob… Misa…!" Light yelped as he was cradling her in his arms, rocking her body back and forth. Tears were actually running down his pale, white skin.

"No… Misa… Misa…Misa." He sobbed, his tears dripping onto the dress of the corpse lying in his arms. He just lay in his room, weeping over the loss of his "girlfriend". He recalled memories, memories of how much he had used her, memories of his time with her, Ryuk and the Death Note.

FLASHBACK…

"Oi, Light. I'm not taking either side but you do know that before you die, I will write your name in my Death Note and you will not go to heaven or hell."

"Hmm? Oh, sure Ryuk."

END OF FLASHBACK…

"_I will write your name in my Death Note…" _Light snapped back to reality: his bedroom, Ryuk and Misa. "Ryuk! Ryuk!"

"Hn? What?" Ryuk asked as he was brought away from his 3rd juicy, apple.

"Kill me now! Let me die and be with _her_! Write my name already! Without _her_, my life is practically over! Go! KILL ME!! The only way I met her was because of the Death Note! I used her for nothing! I treated her like crap! sob… The only reason why I continued with the stupid Death Note was because it was the only way I could keep her at my side! It was the only reason she was in love with me! For without the Death Note, I would have never met her! For without the Death Note, I would've never fallen… I… I… DO IT RYUK!! KILL ME NOW!!"

"Hn? Uhm... Okay... Yagami Light. There it's done! Bye Light! Nice knowing ya!" Ryuk said as he disappeared through the wall.

Light just sat there, with Misa's dead body still in his arms. Waiting to join her in the afterlife.

Seconds passed on and during the last ten seconds, Light whispered in Misa's ear. "I have experienced love at first sight with you. Misa I lo... AHH!!" Light yelled as his heart was ripped out of his chest and the pain was so immense he couldn't help but think: _" So this_ _was how much pain those criminals felt when I killed them." _There was one thing that he had to do and he had to do it now. He leaned in and kissed her. He leaned in and pressed his polished lips on her soft ones until his heart stopped beating.

He could feel it, his heart was stopping and as it stopped, he whispered, "_I love you Amane Misa."_

"Onii-chan! It's time for Misa-chan to go home! Onii-chan!" Sayu called from downstairs, oblivious to the fact that Light and Misa's bodies lay crumpled on the floor, upstairs in Light's room.

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**Well, that's it everybody! Remember to Read and Review and no Flames or Cursing please!! This was my first ever Death Note fic so please go easy on me! LightXMisa is my favourite Death Note pairing and I'll try to keep writing LightXMisa fanfics but I have no time because of the loads of homework! So this was just a test to see if I should continue with Death Note fanfics but I think that I will take a rest for now and start on my RyoSaku fanfic! I have to start that one!! AND YA! SORRY! THEY BOTH DIED!! (well it is DEATH Note!)**

**LittleGreenTeaCup and Eternal Love of Pain and SASU-SAKU4everandalways equals ani-buddies always and forever! **

**Sayonara for now people!**

**REMEMBER: _Don't Hate… Appreciate!_**

**-fUjI-lAwLiEt- OXOXOXOXO (smiles!)**

**P.S. Can anyone give me an idea for my RYOSAKU fic?**


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